You are in a cabin and it is pitch black. You have one match on you. Which do you light first, the newspaper, the lamp, the candle, or the fire?
You light the match first!
Who is bigger:
Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, or their baby?
The baby, because he is a little bigger.
Mike is a butcher. He is 5’10” tall.
What does he weigh?
A farmer has 17 sheep and all but nine die. How many are left?
In a year, there are 12 months.
Seven months have 31 days.
How many months have 28 days?
They all do.
What are the next three letters in the following sequence?
J, F, M, A, M, J, J, A, __, __, __
S, O, N.
The sequence is first letter of the months of the year.
September, October, and November are the next in the sequence.
Jimmy’s mother had four children.
She named the first Monday.
She named the second Tuesday, and she named the third Wednesday.
What is the name of the fourth child?
Jimmy, because Jimmy’s mother had four children!
Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?
It was still the highest in the world.
It just had not been discovered yet!
Neither. Both weigh a pound!
Which is heavier?
A pound of feathers or a pound of rocks?
What is full of holes but can still hold water?
Because he cannot reach the buttons higher than five.
A family lives in a large tower apartment building, 10 floors high.
Every day their son takes the elevator from the family’s apartment on the 10th floor to the ground floor and goes to school. When he returns in the afternoon, he uses the elevator to get to the fifth floor, and then uses the stairs for the remaining five floors.
A plane crashes on the border of the U.S. and Canada.
Where do they bury the survivors?
You do not bury the SURVIVORS!
I do not have any special powers, but I can predict the score of any football game before it begins.
How can I do this?
Well, the score before any football game is always zero to zero!
Whatever color your hair is! Remember, you are the bus driver!
You are driving a bus. At the first stop, two women get on. The second stop, three men get on and one woman gets off. At the third stop, three kids and their mom get on, and a man gets off. The bus is grey, and it is raining outside.
What color is the bus driver’s hair?
Imagine that you are in a boat, in the middle of the sea.
Suddenly, you are surrounded by hungry sharks, just waiting to feed on you.
How can you put an end to this?
Give me food and I will live give me water and I will die.
What am I ?
When you have me, you immediately feel like sharing me.
But, if you do share me, you do not have me.
What can you hold without ever touching or using your hands?
Corn on the cob
First, I threw away the outside and cooked the inside. Then I ate the outside and threw away the inside.
What did I eat?
A lift is on the ground floor. There are four people in the lift including me. When the lift reaches first, floor, one person gets out and three people get in. The lift goes up to the second floor, 2 people get out 6 people get in.
It then goes up to the next floor up, no-one gets out but 12 people get in. Halfway up to the next floor up the lift cable snaps, it crashes to the floor. Everyone else dies in the lift.
How did I survive?
I got out on the second floor!
A man walks into a restaurant and the waiter says, “Good day, Admiral.”
Why did the waiter call the man an Admiral?
Because he was wearing his uniform!
I have no voice, yet I speak to you. I tell of all things in the world that people do.I have leaves, but I am not a tree. I have pages, but I am not a bride. I have a spine, but I am not a man. I have hinges, but I am not a door. I have told you all. I cannot tell you more.
What am I?
A man pushes his car to a hotel and tells its owner that he is bankrupt.
He is playing Monopoly
You are a cyclist in a cross-country race. Just before the crossing finish line, you overtake the person in second place.
In what place did you finish?
If you pass the person in second, you take second place, and they become third.
The only place you can hike 3 miles south, then east for 3 miles, then north for 3 miles and end up back at your starting point is the North Pole. There are only polar bears in the North Pole, and they are white!
I left my campsite and hiked south for 3 miles. Then I turned east and hiked for 3 miles. I then turned north and hiked for 3 miles, at which time I came upon a bear inside my tent eating my food!
What color was the bear?
A man is looking at a photograph of someone. His friend asks who it is. The man replies, “Brothers and sisters, I have none. But that man’s father is my father’s son.”
Who was in the photograph?
There are several, and there could be more: 1. job, Job
2. herb, Herb
3. polish, Polish
What words are pronounced differently by just capitalizing the first letter?
Your dad tells you that he will pay you €6.00 an hour for the 6 seconds that you take to wash your hands before dinner.
How much did you make for washing your hands?
The doctor is the boy’s mother.
A boy is walking down the road with a doctor. While the boy is the doctor’s son, the doctor is not the boy’s father.
Then who is the doctor?
I am a cat.
I sleep all day but play all night. You can strock my fur but i warn you i bite and scratch.
What am I ?
I am fruit.
I sit in a bowl and give you energy.
What am I?
I am as cold as a snowflack and I come in diffrent flavours I also live in your freezer and give you brain freeze.
What am I?